Satya Lila

It Hasn’t Always Been Easy

If you’ve been seeing my posts then you know that I’m crazy in love with my partner John. And even though we are blissfully happy with each other, and even though I’ve taught sacred sexuality for 30 years, with around 15,000 client sessions, it hasn’t always been easy.

There was a time a few years ago when things just weren’t working for us sexually. Due to my spiritual openings, and probably also to my changing hormones, I had gotten extremely sensitive, and the ways that we had connected before were not the ways that worked for me anymore. I didn’t know what I needed, and he was at a loss with how to approach me. To make it worse, I didn’t handle the communication very well. I was impatient and not as loving as I could have been.

One day, I woke up. We had just gone through the same scenario once more. He had reached out to me and I felt irritated and invaded. I had shut down and pulled away from him. I remember this moment so clearly. He was sitting on the side of the bed, slumped down in despair. His face was downcast, and I could see his suffering.

My heart broke. Here was this gorgeous man who I loved dearly, who loved me. We had enjoyed a beautiful sexual connection in the first few years we were together. It was important to both of us to express our love sexually. I ached with sadness at where we were.

And I resolved right then to do what it took to get back to the joyous expression of lovemaking that we had enjoyed with each other.

Since I had such a background in teaching sacred sexuality, I started with what I already knew. I had many tools for communicating what I liked and what I wanted to be different. I started using them again. Duh!

But I had to go deeper than that. I had to learn what was right for me now. It took a lot of exploration, and a lot of dedication on both John’s and my part to learn how to work with how I was now — a highly sensitive woman.

I am forever grateful to John for his patience and understanding, and his ability to set aside his ego and listen to what I want in an attitude of joint exploration as allies.

I’m happy to say that we came through that time and things are better than ever! We have regular connection ceremonies, where we set aside a day to be together intimately. We may dance, or do massage, or make love, or all of that. Sex has become better than it ever has been!

I learned so much! The special needs of a sensitive woman took some experimentation and observation. But we did it, and I’ve been able to help others with what I’ve learned. It’s been so gratifying to hear clients say things like, “Oh my god! She rocked my world!”

The positive side to being a sensitive woman is that when things align, it takes me to amazing places. I float in a gentle ocean of light and love and ecstasy. And when I go there, so does John.

So this is why I do the work I do. Because I know first-hand how painful it can be to not be connecting with your partner. I know how your mind has a hard time focusing upon other things when the connection has interference in it. I know how your energy can feel flattened, and it’s hard to have enthusiasm for anything.

It doesn’t have to be this way. I can help you through a place like this. You can go from feeling hopeless and disconnected to having your heart sing with joy because of the great loving you’ve enjoyed with your partner. Your relationship can be a source of energy that spills out to all other areas of your life. I’ve seen many couples do this, and you can too.

If you’d like more support in creating a vibrant connection with your partner, allow me to gift you with a free Sexual Communion Gateway Session. In this 30-60 minute phone call, I will help you get clear about what your challenges are when it comes to your romantic/sexual relationship, and help you create a vision of what you want instead. Then I’ll give you some solid recommendations that you can begin using right away. There’s no pressure and no strings attached. This is to be in service to you.

I’ve opened up my schedule for three free sessions before August 15. Click here to claim your session.

And if you know of any couples who might benefit from this, please share this with them.

Here’s wishing you luscious loving!

What If It Could Be Fun?

What if it could be fun?

Luscious Loving doesn’t have to be a lot of work. In fact, it’s better if it’s fun. Things flow more easily, and we’re way more motivated by fun than by doing “work”.

This is a message I got from someone who attended my last Luscious Loving intro evening with her partner.

“X said he had so much fun in our 2 hour class. That’s what its all about — fun, connecting. You have a way of bringing lightness and joy into the exercises.”

Want to have some fun with your partner? The next Luscious Loving intro is next Monday, June 19, and it’s free!

For more info, click here.

You can have Luscious Loving!

Sex Is More Than Physical

Video by Jay Matthews

Sex is so much more than physical!

And it’s a good thing that it is! If it was nothing more than rubbing body parts together, it would get boring pretty quickly. There are only so many ways that you can make it different — different positions, different partners. It still becomes limited.

But when you are aware of the energy flowing through your body and your partner’s, a whole new world opens up. Infinitely fascinating, an endlessly flowing river of energy is always there for you to join with. The river takes you for a dreamy, exhilarating ride of pleasure into bliss.

When you share this with a partner, life is so sweet. It’s easy to smile at each other and to sparkle your eyes flirtatiously. Lovemaking is truly making love — it makes it grow.

My upcoming online couple’s group, Luscious Loving, is about just this: how to feel and connect with this energy so that your loving with your partner indeed becomes luscious.

Join me, assisted by my partner John Thompson, for a free intro evening June 19. Group begins June 26. Click here to register, or for more info.

You can have Luscious Loving!

Every Couple Has the Potential

Every couple has the potential to have a relationship that brings them joy. A relationship where both partners nurture and value their connection. Intimacy, both emotional and physical, is actively sought.

I’ve worked with couples with all kinds of stumbling blocks that seem to prevent them from being able to have this for themselves:

A couple who had experienced the betrayal of an affair ten years earlier. They had never fully healed from it. The deep work we did opened up a new level of understanding and forgiveness. This led to a new way of relating which was much more affectionate and playful.
A couple who had backed off from sexual activity because of physical problems, but were still very much in love, found ways to run their sexual energy that accommodated their body issues and was still delicious and satisfying.
A couple who loved each other but had grown distant in touch and physical connection opened up to simply holding each other again. They were very happy with the expression of tenderness that nourished them, and they are still evolving into more and more closeness.

If these couples can do it, you can too!

Living life without the connection, pleasure and fun that Luscious Loving can bring you is not necessary! You can have so much more — a relationship that makes you sing with joy!

You can have Luscious Loving!

My online couples group, Luscious Loving starts June 26, 2023.

There is a free intro evening on June 19 which will be easy, fun and playful. To register, or for more info, click here.

I hope to see you there!

Lovemaking as an Art Form

Lovemaking, when it’s done consciously, is an exquisite art form. The endless variation in the play of light and firm, slow and fast, stillness and wildness makes each time you connect with your beloved special and different.

How do you learn this art? If we lived in a different world, a different time, one where sexuality is honored as sacred, we would be taught in the intricacies of delight. We would have an initiation that introduced us to the joys of sexual ecstasy.

But, alas, we are not in those times. We learn on the fly, fumbling our way through innocent ignorance. I remember my first time. My boyfriend and I were both virgins. We didn’t know what we were doing. It was a quick and fumbling experience, which barely touched my energies of pleasure. When it was over, I wasn’t even sure what had happened.

I’ve learned a lot since then! I’ve devoted my life to it. I have treated lovemaking as an art form, and tried to perfect my art for years. I still am. It’s a lifetime journey for me. And I’ve delighted in sharing what I’ve learned for many years, with many people.

Would you like to learn more about the art of lovemaking? How to make your partner shiver in delight? How to manage your own energies so you can go to higher levels of pleasure than you ever thought possible?

That’s what I’m teaching in my online couple’s group, Luscious Loving.

In this 3-month journey, you will learn the art of lovemaking — new ways of relating energetically and physically that will lead you to rapture and dissolving into bliss.

Join me (assisted by my beloved partner John Thompson) for a free intro evening on June 19. The group begins June 26. For more info or to register, click here.

You can have Luscious Loving!

When the Magic Doesn’t Work

Generally, the connection between my beloved partner John and me flows easily and smoothly. I feel gratitude for the work that we’ve both done to be able to get to this place. But that doesn’t mean it always is easy.

Just a little while ago, we were in one of our regular connection ceremonies. These are times that we dedicate towards intimacy, in whatever form it takes. We set aside time at least once a week to have deep connection with each other.

We were in a magical moment. He was slowly sliding the waistband of my leggings down over my hip, as I lay on my side, and kissing the bare skin exposed next to the clothing. I was rapt in my attention to the boundary between the two states – clothed and naked. The place that he was kissing had all my attention.

Then there was a glitch. I rolled over to give him my other hip, and I didn’t communicate clearly. I said, “Take my leggings down,” while still wanting more of what he was doing, but he got the message to just slide them down quickly. I fell off the flow of energy that I was following.

There was a time when that moment would have made everything grind to a crashing halt. I would have gotten closed down, trying to grasp onto what was happening before and recreate it, feeling like I should be still turned on and available. And I can tell you from experience, feeling like that is not an aphrodisiac! And John might have felt confused and criticized.

But we didn’t go there. I just explained what happened, without any judgement towards him, or any charge that it had happened. It was just an event, not good, not bad. He heard it with no defensiveness, and understood what happened. Then we just went back into the flow, being with what was there authentically in that moment.

We had a lovely, powerful, sweet connection. And we learned a bit more about each other in the process.

We were able to do this because of the trust we’ve built. Years of kind communication, without blaming or shaming, has created a foundation that allows for easy recovery from the little glitches that inevitably happen in a relationship.

Yes, it can be easy! You can create this for yourself, even if you haven’t been this way all along. You can make a new beginning, and have a relationship that flows with fun.

Loving Only One

When I was learning about sacred sexuality, in Marin County, California in the 90’s, the community there was very polyamorous. The workshops encouraged moving from partner to partner, experimenting with what gifts different people had to offer you. There was a lot of freedom there, and also a lot of relationship drama — side attractions, jealousy, hurt feelings, feelings of restriction and rebellion. I’m not sorry I went through that phase, because I learned a lot about myself. However, I feel very differently about this now.

I’ve been monogamous for thirteen years now, first with my late partner Daniel Freespirit, and after his death, with my current partner John Thompson. It is so refreshing to devote myself to only one. All that relationship drama is gone. It’s just a steady, focused love that energizes and supports each of us. It makes my heart sing! And it frees me to focus upon other things in my life, rather than be preoccupied with the drama in my relationship.

There is a precious book by Lorin Roche called The Radiance Sutras. It is a contemporary translation of an ancient text called the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra. Here is a quote from Sutra #39:

Cast aside the ten thousand things,
And love only one.
Don’t go onto another.

It’s a path, not the only one. It works for me.

I don’t say it’s for everyone. That’s for you to decide for yourself.

I want to honor the sacred bond that a couple has. That’s why I’ve shifted the way I teach groups from how I taught in the past. I’m in the middle of a couple’s group now, and the emphasis is all on the connection between each couple. No extraneous input, just what’s there between the two. I think it serves.

Dropping Sexual Shame

Here’s another story of transformation.

A couple came to work with me. They were basically ok with each other, but their sexual relationship had gotten neglected because of parenting and lots of responsibilities. They wanted to reconnect and bring back the spark in their relationship.

As we worked during a day together in the circle, the woman became aware of how much shame she was carrying about sexuality and her body. She noticed that it was hindering her spontaneous expression with her partner.

We focused upon that for a while, working with her inner child and the messages she had received about sexuality as a child. We did some reprogramming of those attitudes, and then moved on to other things.

There was a shift! With just that little bit of focus, she dropped her shame. I still remember the beautiful moment when she stood up, naked and gorgeous and proud of her body and her sexual energy. Her partner gazed at her with awe, appreciating her beauty.

It was a little bit of focus, but there was a lot that led up to that. We were deep into the day already. She had been getting more and more relaxed and open all the time. When someone is open and ready, it doesn’t take much to make the shift happen.

The season for outdoor retreats is fast approaching! Summer and fall are the times that my medicine circle is available. It is a wonderful place to be held in your transformation. Lots of healing has happened there, and the energy is strong.

I have just seven openings left between June and October. If you are interested in exploring whether a retreat is right for you, then click here to book a free Discovery Session with me.

I look forward to supporting you in your transformation!

The Deep Dive

One of my favorite ways to work is the deep dive retreat. So much can happen at such a fundamental level! Transformation is very likely, if you have a focused and extended time devoted to it. Here is a story of one person’s experience with me here on my land.

She came to me feeling battered and abused. Her close relative had dumped a lot of judgement and disapproval on her. (Details are omitted to preserve privacy.) The result of this was that she was feeling shaky in her self-esteem. She was wondering if the judgmental things her relative said were true.

We spent a day together in my temple. She talked and talked, first about the relative who had judged her, then about the dynamics as a child in her family. I mostly just listened closely. I offered reflections from time to time. And I gave her a steady stream of loving attention. This day went on for nine hours! We stayed with it until she was done.

The next morning, she was a different person. She was light and easy-flowing. She had a solid sense of who she was and the value that she has. She had changed her perspective about what her relative had said, and made a decision to not subject herself to that person again.

I had an opportunity to speak with her about a year later. She said that the changes she experience had lasted, that she still felt a lot more solid in her sense of herself as a good person.

Focused loving attention is a powerful healing tool!

I have just seven openings left between June and October. If you are interested in exploring whether a retreat is right for you, then click here to book a free Discovery Session with me.

I look forward to supporting you in your transformation!

The Circle is Emerging Soon

I was able to get down to the medicine circle yesterday! The snow is melting rapidly, and soon it will be revealed again!

John and I walked over big patches of snow to get there. The circle itself is still covered, but we went onto the top of the snow and did a little wakeup ceremony for the circle. We anchored a line of light in the center, and asked that it be available for the people who can benefit the most from being in it.

The energy of the circle is so strong now, after three years of use. A lovely powerful column of light was instantly there. It was so good to feel it again!

It’s an energy that supports deep healing and transformation.

If you’re interested in learning more about a retreat, click here.

I’m beginning to open up my schedule for the summer and fall. I will begin these outdoor retreats in June, and there are a limited number of times available. Until May 1, I’m offering a 20% discount for pre-booking. If you know you want to do this, now is the time to save! Contact me for an interview to make sure we are a good fit.

If this is right for you, I look forward to supporting you in the next step in your growth and transformation!