Stories of Sexual Healing

One of the things I love about my work is watching changes in my clients over time. Here are some examples of the way people have blossomed.

There was a woman who had history of childhood sexual abuse, and had been shut down sexually for two years with no response or interest. Our work with boundaries allowed her to begin to say no when she needed. From there, she began to be able to say yes and now she enjoys her sexuality deeply.

One man was very intellectual and scientifically oriented when he started to work with me. He challenged a lot of the “woo-woo” teachings about energy. His questions, which were sometimes a bit aggressive, were met lovingly and with acceptance. Over time he began to feel energy in his body himself, and now he enjoys extended orgasm with or without ejaculation, and talks about the amazing waves of energy in his body. He is also much more warm and loving in his interactions with people.

Then there is the woman who, when she first came to see me, was not very comfortable in expressing her femininity. She felt more at home in masculine energy. While there is nothing inherently wrong with that, for her it felt false. It was a choice based on fear rather than a true preference. Now she has completely transformed. One way that manifests is by wearing flowing beautiful clothing that expresses her sensuality. Often when I look at her I see the goddess in her expressing her divine feminine nature.

One woman came to me after the break up of a 20-year marriage. All she needed was a little permission and validation, and she soon began to express her energy is beautiful and exuberant ways. She is stunning in who she is, and she is realizing that more and more all the time.

One man was a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, which had left him with a paralyzing fear whenever his sexual energy started to rise. He would immediately and involuntarily tense his muscles and shut it down. This was very frustrating to him. Slowly, over time, his body began to realize that he was safe when sexual energy was present. Now he is beginning to be more able to feel his sexual energy fully without stopping it. The small changes are adding up to a big transformation.

It is so gratifying to watch these, and others, as they grow and expand. And in the process I fall in love with each and every one, in love with their magnificent spirits.

How to Make Love to a Sensitive Woman, Part Two

There is one thing that is crucial to understand about how a sensitive woman processes touch. Each touch is a significant event. It creates ripples of pleasure that radiate out from the place that was touched to the periphery of her body, much like the ripples that are created when something is dropped into water. It is very satisfying to feel the ripples go all the way out as far as they can. It’s easiest to feel this when there is space between touches so interference is not created.

Look at the difference between the first and second picture. There is a harmony and serenity in the first picture where there is only one source of rippling. Compared that to the second picture where many raindrops are hitting the surface of the water. The energy is chaotic and confusing. This can be similar to a reaction that a sensitive woman might have to too much touch too quickly.

Many people, no matter how good they are as lovers, find this a new concept. I was never taught this concept. I had to figure out for myself, and it took me years to be able to articulate it. So if you have this kind of sensitivity, it is important to communicate this to your lover in a loving way, without making them wrong.

I have been blessed with many wonderful lovers in my life — men who are attentive, intuitive, skilled, embodied and eager to please. I remember a time with one of these dear men. I had just understood this concept for myself and figured out a way to talk about it. I decided to show him rather than trying to tell him. He touched me, and this is what I said.

“What a lovely touch! Let me keep feeling it. I’m still feeling it. I’m still feeling it! It’s still rippling out. Thank you for letting me feel all of it. Ohhh . . . ohh!”

I continued with this until I didn’t feel it anymore. And he got it! After that he gave me way more space to feel each touch. I enjoyed his touch more, and responded with more pleasure. That motivated him to do more of the pauses. We were both happy.

If you’re a sensitive woman, or her lover, I hope this serves you well. If you need support, we can start with a complimentary Sexual Renaissance session. Click the link to find out more.

May your full moon be filled with delight!

If you missed Part 1 of this topic, check here.

How to Make Love to a Sensitive Woman

Making love to a sensitive woman can be a tricky matter. It can be the most exquisite pleasure, or it can be a source of disconnection if things don’t align well. I know, because I’m a sensitive woman. So I’ve learned a lot about this that I’d like to share with you.

Probably the most important tip I can give you is to give her space. If she is sensitive, she can probably feel you before you even start touching physically. Imagine energy coming from your hands like streams of light. This light flows out of each finger, and goes far beyond your fingers. When I was a girl, I used to tickle my little brother from across the room, just by wiggling my fingers at him. He would giggle and squirm and I would laugh. If you imagine that you can touch from a distance, her sensitive receptivity will feel it.

A sensitive person has much more attunement to their nervous system than most people. It’s as if there are thousands of little satellite dishes on the skin. Each one has to turn on and line up in the right direction to receive the touch. This takes time, but it’s so worth it! If you give her that time, moving slowly, and all those dishes align, the pleasure is enormous.

If you’d like support in learning how to do this, I’ve taught hundreds of people in the art of touch. To find out more, click this link for a complimentary Sexual Renaissance session. It’s a great way to make a new start on a joyous sexual connection!

Letting Emotions Flow

Today is the new moon in Cancer. How does Cancer energy enhance a relationship?

Cancer is a water sign, ruled by the moon. It is all about emotions — the most emotional sign of the zodiac. Emotions are hugely important in an intimate connection. When you share your emotions, you open the door to your heart and soul. Often the body follows that opening with its own opening.

Some self-disclosure here — I have five planets in Cancer. It’s a concentration of attention in the area of emotions. I even taught Japanese people how to express their emotions, in visits to Tokyo over the course of ten years. I can be very emotional at times, and I thrive in that arena. So I’m something of an expert on Cancer.

Here’s how Cancer showed up for me recently. My partner John and I have a standing date for once a week. We do our Connection Ceremony* each time, which begins with a check-in from each of us. Lately I’ve had a lot to process, and I was feeling some sadness as I came into our time together.

My mind got busy. “I’m always emotional. He’ll get tired of it. It’s a downer for him to be with this. Don’t cry.”

But I stayed real. I talked about what was up with me, I cried the tears, and then I was clear again. Just like a storm passing over a range of hills, if you don’t resist or cling, the emotions move quickly.

Later, we were sharing a moment of exquisite pleasure. It was slow and delicate, and I was transported into ecstasy. I said to him, “This delight is possible because I cleared out the sadness. It made room for the joy.”

And it’s true. If you are stuffed full of unexpressed emotions, then you go a little numb in order to not feel them. But the numbness is not selective. Pleasure gets numbed along with the pain. But if your emotions are flowing, your energy flows too. And pleasure rides the energy.

Give yourself permission to express your emotions fully, and you will give yourself permission to have more joy. It’s what remains once the emotions clear out — your natural state of being.

If you need support in this realm, I’m happy to help. Allow me to offer you a complimentary Sexual Renaissance session. Click the link to find out more.

With love,
Satya

*If you want a copy of “Creating Connection: A Guide to Intimacy”, a step-by-step guide to a beautiful connection ceremony, click here.

Hot Sex vs. Cool Sex

Artist Unknown — If you know them, please let me know so I can acknowledge them

People love hot sex. What’s not to like? It’s wild, passionate, and it sweeps you away.

But what about cool sex? You don’t hear too much about that.

I love cool sex. Sex that includes stillness and space. Like a kiss where your lips are barely touching and your breath brushes your lips. Or a moment during intercourse when you both get still and feel the energies moving through your bodies as you hover on the edge of orgasm.

In moments like these, I feel myself expand into infinity.

Cool sex has lots of advantages. The possibility of spiritual expansion. The calm alertness that it brings to the mind. The exquisite pleasure of being able to fully feel each touch because there is space around it and you have time to let it ripple fully through your body before the next touch comes.

Plus, it’s a lot easier to do if you have issues with your body such as pain or limitations with movement.

So, yes, enjoy hot sex all you want. And maybe experiment with just how hot cool sex can be!

If you need support with your sexuality (either hot or cold!), let me offer you a complimentary Sexual Renaissance session. Click the link to find out more.

(I am grateful to David and Ellen Ramsdale for introducing me to the idea of cool sex in their magnificent book Sexual Energy Ecstasy. It’s one of my favorite sacred sexuality books.)

Self and Others

Sunday is the full moon. The sun is in Aries and the moon is in Libra. What does this mean for you and your relationship?

Any full moon has an inherent opposition of energies. Full moons happen when the sun and moon are opposite each other, with the earth in between. The energies are at opposite ends of a spectrum. What that spectrum is changes from month to month.

Aries is the sign that is most about the self, and Libra is the sign that is most about partnership. Can you sense the tug-of-war that is embedded in that?

Most people have a predominant inclination of emphasis. Some are self-centered. Some are other-centered. Neither is bad; in fact, both are necessary for a balanced way of being.

A self-centered person is good at taking care of themselves, but maybe not so good at paying attention to what their partner needs. An other-centered person is just the opposite. They focus upon their partner’s needs, and often neglect themself.

Those are the extreme ends of the spectrum. Most people are somewhere in between, where it’s healthier.

Ideally, we each take care of ourselves so well that we overflow with well-being to give to our partner. Of course, this will vary from day to day. Some day you need a helping hand. Other days, you need to self-nourish.

I invite you to use the energies of this full moon to pay attention to this dichotomy. Where are you on this spectrum? Self-centered? Other-centered? This would be an excellent time to try out the opposite end of the spectrum.

If you are predominately self-centered, gift your partner with service. Offer them a day or an afternoon where you are at their pleasure. They can ask for whatever they like, and you give it to them in the spirit of service, with no expectations and no strings attached.

If you are more other-centered, take a period of time for yourself. Go inward, ask yourself what would YOU like in this time. A bath? Stretching your body? Self-pleasuring? A walk? Approach this time as if you have a date with someone very special — you!

In either case, notice what comes up for you. Is it uncomfortable? Unfamiliar? A relief? Whatever you notice, stay out of judgment about it. Let this be just information that might guide you into an adjustment in your orientation.

Happy full moon!