Stories of Sexual Healing

One of the things I love about my work is watching changes in my clients over time. Here are some examples of the way people have blossomed.

There was a woman who had history of childhood sexual abuse, and had been shut down sexually for two years with no response or interest. Our work with boundaries allowed her to begin to say no when she needed. From there, she began to be able to say yes and now she enjoys her sexuality deeply.

One man was very intellectual and scientifically oriented when he started to work with me. He challenged a lot of the “woo-woo” teachings about energy. His questions, which were sometimes a bit aggressive, were met lovingly and with acceptance. Over time he began to feel energy in his body himself, and now he enjoys extended orgasm with or without ejaculation, and talks about the amazing waves of energy in his body. He is also much more warm and loving in his interactions with people.

Then there is the woman who, when she first came to see me, was not very comfortable in expressing her femininity. She felt more at home in masculine energy. While there is nothing inherently wrong with that, for her it felt false. It was a choice based on fear rather than a true preference. Now she has completely transformed. One way that manifests is by wearing flowing beautiful clothing that expresses her sensuality. Often when I look at her I see the goddess in her expressing her divine feminine nature.

One woman came to me after the break up of a 20-year marriage. All she needed was a little permission and validation, and she soon began to express her energy is beautiful and exuberant ways. She is stunning in who she is, and she is realizing that more and more all the time.

One man was a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, which had left him with a paralyzing fear whenever his sexual energy started to rise. He would immediately and involuntarily tense his muscles and shut it down. This was very frustrating to him. Slowly, over time, his body began to realize that he was safe when sexual energy was present. Now he is beginning to be more able to feel his sexual energy fully without stopping it. The small changes are adding up to a big transformation.

It is so gratifying to watch these, and others, as they grow and expand. And in the process I fall in love with each and every one, in love with their magnificent spirits.

How to Make Love to a Sensitive Woman, Part Two

There is one thing that is crucial to understand about how a sensitive woman processes touch. Each touch is a significant event. It creates ripples of pleasure that radiate out from the place that was touched to the periphery of her body, much like the ripples that are created when something is dropped into water. It is very satisfying to feel the ripples go all the way out as far as they can. It’s easiest to feel this when there is space between touches so interference is not created.

Look at the difference between the first and second picture. There is a harmony and serenity in the first picture where there is only one source of rippling. Compared that to the second picture where many raindrops are hitting the surface of the water. The energy is chaotic and confusing. This can be similar to a reaction that a sensitive woman might have to too much touch too quickly.

Many people, no matter how good they are as lovers, find this a new concept. I was never taught this concept. I had to figure out for myself, and it took me years to be able to articulate it. So if you have this kind of sensitivity, it is important to communicate this to your lover in a loving way, without making them wrong.

I have been blessed with many wonderful lovers in my life — men who are attentive, intuitive, skilled, embodied and eager to please. I remember a time with one of these dear men. I had just understood this concept for myself and figured out a way to talk about it. I decided to show him rather than trying to tell him. He touched me, and this is what I said.

“What a lovely touch! Let me keep feeling it. I’m still feeling it. I’m still feeling it! It’s still rippling out. Thank you for letting me feel all of it. Ohhh . . . ohh!”

I continued with this until I didn’t feel it anymore. And he got it! After that he gave me way more space to feel each touch. I enjoyed his touch more, and responded with more pleasure. That motivated him to do more of the pauses. We were both happy.

If you’re a sensitive woman, or her lover, I hope this serves you well. If you need support, we can start with a complimentary Sexual Renaissance session. Click the link to find out more.

May your full moon be filled with delight!

If you missed Part 1 of this topic, check here.

The Fun of Costuming

Today is the new moon in Leo. How can you benefit from more Leo energy in your relationship?

Leo energy is dramatic, creative and playful. An actor upon a stage is a good manifestation of Leo energy. Leo enjoys being admired.

A fun way to express Leo in an intimate connection is to play with costuming. Dress up like a god or goddess and let yourself be admired. It can make an encounter feel special to do that.

Many people are stimulated by the visual. Often they have been shamed for that, and have resorted to sneaking a peek for fear of condemnation. (“You are treating me like an object.”) It can be very liberating for them to be openly encouraged in indulging their visual orientation. (“Go ahead and feast your eyes.”)

If you are insecure about how your body looks, remember that sexual energy gives you an aura of beauty. It’s as if the sacred erotic enters your body and makes you glow. It’s when we are the most beautiful.

And most people blossom with a bit of admiration. It feeds the part of us that is insecure about how we are perceived. It’s important to remember that your partner may be taking a risk in costuming, and look at them with eyes of appreciation. See the beauty, not the flaws.

If you find that difficult feelings arise with this, I’m here to support you. A complimentary Sexual Renaissance session is a good way to start. Click the link to find out more.

Enjoy a bit of Leo flair this new moon!

How to Make Love to a Sensitive Woman

Making love to a sensitive woman can be a tricky matter. It can be the most exquisite pleasure, or it can be a source of disconnection if things don’t align well. I know, because I’m a sensitive woman. So I’ve learned a lot about this that I’d like to share with you.

Probably the most important tip I can give you is to give her space. If she is sensitive, she can probably feel you before you even start touching physically. Imagine energy coming from your hands like streams of light. This light flows out of each finger, and goes far beyond your fingers. When I was a girl, I used to tickle my little brother from across the room, just by wiggling my fingers at him. He would giggle and squirm and I would laugh. If you imagine that you can touch from a distance, her sensitive receptivity will feel it.

A sensitive person has much more attunement to their nervous system than most people. It’s as if there are thousands of little satellite dishes on the skin. Each one has to turn on and line up in the right direction to receive the touch. This takes time, but it’s so worth it! If you give her that time, moving slowly, and all those dishes align, the pleasure is enormous.

If you’d like support in learning how to do this, I’ve taught hundreds of people in the art of touch. To find out more, click this link for a complimentary Sexual Renaissance session. It’s a great way to make a new start on a joyous sexual connection!

Hot Sex vs. Cool Sex

Artist Unknown — If you know them, please let me know so I can acknowledge them

People love hot sex. What’s not to like? It’s wild, passionate, and it sweeps you away.

But what about cool sex? You don’t hear too much about that.

I love cool sex. Sex that includes stillness and space. Like a kiss where your lips are barely touching and your breath brushes your lips. Or a moment during intercourse when you both get still and feel the energies moving through your bodies as you hover on the edge of orgasm.

In moments like these, I feel myself expand into infinity.

Cool sex has lots of advantages. The possibility of spiritual expansion. The calm alertness that it brings to the mind. The exquisite pleasure of being able to fully feel each touch because there is space around it and you have time to let it ripple fully through your body before the next touch comes.

Plus, it’s a lot easier to do if you have issues with your body such as pain or limitations with movement.

So, yes, enjoy hot sex all you want. And maybe experiment with just how hot cool sex can be!

If you need support with your sexuality (either hot or cold!), let me offer you a complimentary Sexual Renaissance session. Click the link to find out more.

(I am grateful to David and Ellen Ramsdale for introducing me to the idea of cool sex in their magnificent book Sexual Energy Ecstasy. It’s one of my favorite sacred sexuality books.)