Tag: improving relationships

Harmony

by Satya Lila, posted in Uncategorized

The new moon on Wednesday is in Libra. This next lunar month is a good time to bring Libra energy into your relationship.

Libra is a sign that is quite immersed in relationships. They are a high priority for someone who is running a a lot of Libra energy. So putting a lot of attention on how your relationship is going is a quality of Libra that can serve the relationship.

Librans value peace and harmony in relationship. They are disturbed by strife. They excel in mediating and peacemaking. This requires tuning into what the other person needs. Communication is a important component of tuning into someone else’s needs.

What is your communication like with your partner? Is there a confrontational or aggressive tone to your conversation? Do you speak words in anger? If this is so, you might benefit from a little dose of Libran harmony.

This is not to say that it’s not okay to be angry. Anger can be a useful wake-up call that something needs to shift. However, there are ways to communicate this gently that make the communication better able to be received.

There are two components to anger. There is the energy of anger, which is fiery and hot. Then there is the issue that you are angry about. When you collapse these two components together, it can result in toxic communication. It’s easy to throw angry words like knives which leave a lasting cut.

I have found that it leads to more harmony if you separate these two components. First deal with the energy of anger. This may be better to do by yourself. Move your body. Scream and shout. Stomp your feet. Pound some pillows. You will probably find that the energy of anger dissipates quite quickly with these kinds of techniques. This will leave you calm and able to discuss the issues that need attention.

If you can have a communication from this calm place, then it’s much more likely that you can connect with your partner as allies working together to solve a problem. A disagreement can be an opportunity to refine your relationship so that it works even better!

Happy new moon!

Service

by Satya Lila, posted in Uncategorized

Monday’s new moon is in Virgo. Virgo is not considered one of the sexier signs. It is usually noted for its analytical abilities and attention to detail. However, there is one aspect of Virgo that I think really can enhance a relationship, and that is the attitude of service.

What would it be like for you to drop it into devotional service towards your partner? Perhaps you could gift them with a day where are you are totally in service to them. Cook them breakfast, or give them a massage, or run errands for them. Ask them what they need, and do it.

The key here is doing all this as an expression of the love in your heart for them, and remembering that love as you do the tasks that would serve them. You can imagine a glowing light in your heart that represents your love, and letting light flow from your heart down your arms into your hands. It flows into whatever task you are doing, and fills it with love, so that the end product is imbued with love. It is like a meditation in motion. That is the devotional aspect of service.

If you choose to do this, give freely with no expectations in return. You may find that you receive gifts beyond your imagination and they may be different than you expect. Try it and see!

How to Make Love to a Sensitive Woman

by Satya Lila, posted in Uncategorized

Making love to a sensitive woman can be a tricky matter. It can be the most exquisite pleasure, or it can be a source of disconnection if things don’t align well. I know, because I’m a sensitive woman. So I’ve learned a lot about this that I’d like to share with you.

Probably the most important tip I can give you is to give her space. If she is sensitive, she can probably feel you before you even start touching physically. Imagine energy coming from your hands like streams of light. This light flows out of each finger, and goes far beyond your fingers. When I was a girl, I used to tickle my little brother from across the room, just by wiggling my fingers at him. He would giggle and squirm and I would laugh. If you imagine that you can touch from a distance, her sensitive receptivity will feel it.

A sensitive person has much more attunement to their nervous system than most people. It’s as if there are thousands of little satellite dishes on the skin. Each one has to turn on and line up in the right direction to receive the touch. This takes time, but it’s so worth it! If you give her that time, moving slowly, and all those dishes align, the pleasure is enormous.

If you’d like support in learning how to do this, I’ve taught hundreds of people in the art of touch. To find out more, click this link for a complimentary Sexual Renaissance session. It’s a great way to make a new start on a joyous sexual connection!

Letting Emotions Flow

by Satya Lila, posted in Uncategorized

Today is the new moon in Cancer. How does Cancer energy enhance a relationship?

Cancer is a water sign, ruled by the moon. It is all about emotions — the most emotional sign of the zodiac. Emotions are hugely important in an intimate connection. When you share your emotions, you open the door to your heart and soul. Often the body follows that opening with its own opening.

Some self-disclosure here — I have five planets in Cancer. It’s a concentration of attention in the area of emotions. I even taught Japanese people how to express their emotions, in visits to Tokyo over the course of ten years. I can be very emotional at times, and I thrive in that arena. So I’m something of an expert on Cancer.

Here’s how Cancer showed up for me recently. My partner John and I have a standing date for once a week. We do our Connection Ceremony* each time, which begins with a check-in from each of us. Lately I’ve had a lot to process, and I was feeling some sadness as I came into our time together.

My mind got busy. “I’m always emotional. He’ll get tired of it. It’s a downer for him to be with this. Don’t cry.”

But I stayed real. I talked about what was up with me, I cried the tears, and then I was clear again. Just like a storm passing over a range of hills, if you don’t resist or cling, the emotions move quickly.

Later, we were sharing a moment of exquisite pleasure. It was slow and delicate, and I was transported into ecstasy. I said to him, “This delight is possible because I cleared out the sadness. It made room for the joy.”

And it’s true. If you are stuffed full of unexpressed emotions, then you go a little numb in order to not feel them. But the numbness is not selective. Pleasure gets numbed along with the pain. But if your emotions are flowing, your energy flows too. And pleasure rides the energy.

Give yourself permission to express your emotions fully, and you will give yourself permission to have more joy. It’s what remains once the emotions clear out — your natural state of being.

If you need support in this realm, I’m happy to help. Allow me to offer you a complimentary Sexual Renaissance session. Click the link to find out more.

With love,
Satya

*If you want a copy of “Creating Connection: A Guide to Intimacy”, a step-by-step guide to a beautiful connection ceremony, click here.

Curiosity!

by Satya Lila, posted in Uncategorized

Thursday, June 10, 2021 is a new moon in Gemini. To make it more potent, it’s also a solar eclipse, which happens at a new moon where the earth, sun and moon are in precise alignment.

What qualities of Gemini would serve you to bring into your relationship? Gemini is concerned with gathering information and communication. It’s a sign of curiosity. These qualities will serve you well in getting to know more about your partner.

I took a car trip with a lover once. We were in my bare-bones little car, with no sound system and a 12-hour drive ahead of us. We decided to pass the time by asking each other questions about our sexual experiences. We spent almost the whole twelve hours wrapped up in fascinating conversation, and we learned a lot about each other. This is a positive use of Gemini energy.

If you are called to do this, an important ground rule would be to receive your partner’s answer without judgment. It can be vulnerable to talk about such intimate topics, and to be met with judgment can be traumatizing. Remember that any event either feels positive, or it’s a step in someone’s learning process. There are no mistakes, just events that give you more clarity about what you want for yourself.

Here are some questions to get you started:
• What do you enjoy most in our sexual relationship?
• Is there anything you’d like to try with me that we haven’t done?
• Tell me about the first time you had sex.
• What do you fantasize about?
• Where is the most unusual place you’ve had sex?
• Tell me about a time you felt adventurous sexually.

You can also journal on your own about these questions, and look for themes in what you write.

If this conversation uncovers issues that need addressing, I’m happy to support you. Click here to find out more about how to start with a complimentary Sexual Renaissance session.

Ride the power of this Gemini solar eclipse to gather more information about your beloved or yourself!

Comfort and Transformation

by Satya Lila, posted in Uncategorized

The next full moon is April 26 2021. The sun is in Taurus and the moon is in Scorpio. As with all full moons, the sun is opposite the moon. This highlights a pull between opposite energies. The trick is to balance them.

One of the characteristics of Taurus is that it loves comfort and security. Taurus likes soft velvet pillows and chocolate. Taurus doesn’t like change, being a fixed earth sign. Scorpio on the other hand is interested in depth. It revels in deep psychological probing, which is often not comfortable. Scorpio is about transformation, which is also often not comfortable.

A healthy relationship contains both of these energies. The ability to go deep, to process the shadow aspects of the personality is an essential ingredient of a conscious relationship. You have to bring your shadow side to consciousness so it doesn’t run you. Alternating these periods of deepness with Taurean sensuality and comfort allows you to integrate what you bring up from the Scorpio side.

If you are out of balance towards the Taurus side, then you might spend so much time being comfortable that there is no growth. Your relationship may become stagnant and boring. I was in a relationship where we got like that. There was so much dysfunction between us that we spent a lot of time watching the videos. I remember a depressing moment in the video store, where I realized that we had seen everything in the store that I wanted to see. There was an inbalance there. That relationship didn’t last.

On the other hand, if you’re out of balance towards the Scorpio side, then you might wear yourself out with constant processing. I remember a relationship I was in that was like that. It was not uncommon for us to stay in bed until 4:00 in the afternoon processing some upset between us. Meanwhile, we wouldn’t even have had breakfast or brushed our teeth. While the relationship engendered a lot of growth in both of us, we could have benefited from a little Taurus energy. Maybe that relationship would have lasted longer!

I guess I needed to experience both sides of Taurus and Scorpio. Those were early relationships, which are often learning grounds. Now I include both energies.

If you are in a relationship, I invite you to take a look at where you are on the spectrum between comfort and transformation. Are you balanced? Is there one side of the spectrum that you need to bring in more?

If you need more Taurus, then spend some time giving each other massage. Or create a sensual feast. Let a square of chocolate melt in your mouth and pass it back and forth to your lover with a kiss.

If you need more Scorpio energy, then you could play a game of Truth or Dare. One person chooses either Truth or Dare. If they choose Truth, then the other person asks them a question and they must answer it truthfully. If they choose Dare the other person dares them to do something and they must do it. Then you reverse sides. Your imagination is the only limit. And of course, you get to have your boundaries. If something doesn’t feel right to you then don’t do it. But look at the reasons why it doesn’t feel right. That in itself is a Scorpio action.

Taurus and Scorpio are both juicy energies for a relationship. They are well worth developing in yours! If you need support I can help you. Click here to find out more.

Have fun on this Scorpio-Taurus Full moon!

Deep Healing for Sexual Renaissance

by Satya Lila, posted in Uncategorized

Sometimes part of my Sexual Renaissance program is about deep healing. There is often wounding that gets in the way of a free and joyous sexual expression. This may be wounding in the relationship, like the betrayal of an affair, or it might be an individual matter, like childhood programming of sexual shame. Whatever it is, I’m there for that. It’s about going deep, releasing old pent-up feelings, and creating a new way of being.

I recently worked with a couple who had experienced the wife having an affair a dozen years ago. She was still wracked with guilt over it, even though he had put it behind him. We did a forgiveness ceremony, after some preliminary work to prepare for it, and during the ceremony I watched her lighten up and drop the guilt. It cleared the way for a new connection between them that was flowing and loving and light. It filled my heart with joy to witness that!

In another couple, we worked with sexual shame. The wife had been raised in a fundamentalist religion, and still felt the weight of the judgments about sexuality oppressing her. I guided her into a new attitude of celebrating her body and her sexuality, and watched her blossom into a rich and abundant goddess energy that her husband was delighted to receive. It was beautiful!

Sometimes the healing has to be the first step in the sexual renaissance process. If you feel that this is true for you, I invite you to take the first step towards that first step. I’m happy to gift you with a Sexual Renaissance Session. Click here for more information on how to do this.

Self and Others

by Satya Lila, posted in Uncategorized

Sunday is the full moon. The sun is in Aries and the moon is in Libra. What does this mean for you and your relationship?

Any full moon has an inherent opposition of energies. Full moons happen when the sun and moon are opposite each other, with the earth in between. The energies are at opposite ends of a spectrum. What that spectrum is changes from month to month.

Aries is the sign that is most about the self, and Libra is the sign that is most about partnership. Can you sense the tug-of-war that is embedded in that?

Most people have a predominant inclination of emphasis. Some are self-centered. Some are other-centered. Neither is bad; in fact, both are necessary for a balanced way of being.

A self-centered person is good at taking care of themselves, but maybe not so good at paying attention to what their partner needs. An other-centered person is just the opposite. They focus upon their partner’s needs, and often neglect themself.

Those are the extreme ends of the spectrum. Most people are somewhere in between, where it’s healthier.

Ideally, we each take care of ourselves so well that we overflow with well-being to give to our partner. Of course, this will vary from day to day. Some day you need a helping hand. Other days, you need to self-nourish.

I invite you to use the energies of this full moon to pay attention to this dichotomy. Where are you on this spectrum? Self-centered? Other-centered? This would be an excellent time to try out the opposite end of the spectrum.

If you are predominately self-centered, gift your partner with service. Offer them a day or an afternoon where you are at their pleasure. They can ask for whatever they like, and you give it to them in the spirit of service, with no expectations and no strings attached.

If you are more other-centered, take a period of time for yourself. Go inward, ask yourself what would YOU like in this time. A bath? Stretching your body? Self-pleasuring? A walk? Approach this time as if you have a date with someone very special — you!

In either case, notice what comes up for you. Is it uncomfortable? Unfamiliar? A relief? Whatever you notice, stay out of judgment about it. Let this be just information that might guide you into an adjustment in your orientation.

Happy full moon!