One of the things I find really interesting in sexual energetics is the difference between masculine and feminine energies.
This isn’t necessarily connected to whether whether you have a male or female body. I think of masculine as the active principle and feminine as the receptive principle. It’s possible to run either of those energies regardless of which kind of body you have physically.
My energy is predominately feminine or receptive. Most of my lovers have been masculine or active. So my personal experience is with this dynamic, and this is what I want to talk about in this writing.
The active person’s role in lovemaking is to shape the experience. They provide the container for the energy. My partner John says, “I make love to you.” He is focused upon my reactions and how what he is doing resonates through my body. He understands that the more attention he gives my experience, the more energy he receives.
The receptive person’s role is simply to surrender. That is usually what I do in lovemaking. I’ve noticed that the more that I surrender, the better the lovemaking is for both of us. There have been times in the past where I hadn’t embraced that principle fully yet. At moments I would feel guilty, like I wasn’t returning enough energy to my partner. I was simply surrendering to pleasure. But what I found is that when I tried to engineer a more equal exchange, the energy would often fall flat. I’ve been blessed with many wonderful lovers, and they all have had in common that they derived their pleasure from my pleasure.
There is a Tantric teaching that says that the energy that the active one (often the man) puts into opening up the receptive one (often the woman) comes back to him. Because the receptive ones have the capacity to surrender fully more easily, they can access places that the active one has trouble getting to. And when the receptive one accesses those places, they can take their partner along.
And everybody’s happy!
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