Satya Lila

Stillness Within the Storm

“As the fires blend in sexual joy,
Enter that blessed place between the legs,
Embrace the holy energies shimmering there.”
— The Radiance Sutras, by Lorin Roche

John and I have a practice that we embed in our regular connection ceremonies. One of us will flip the pages of The Radiance Sutra and the other one will poke our finger into the flipping pages to select a sutra to focus upon for the day. The Radiance Sutras are a modern-day translation of the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra, an ancient spiritual teaching text. Only a few sutras are focused upon sexuality. It’s a wide range of pathways to spiritual connection.

I must admit, my first thought when I got this one was, “Oh, boy! It’s going to be a fun day!” I like feeling the shimmering joys. And yes, it was a fun day!

There was a moment when I felt a revelation. Let me tell you about it.

John was giving pleasure to me, and I was lying back and receiving. There was a lot of energy flowing. For most of my adult life, if I was in that much energy, I would have been very dramatic. Lots of wild movements and loud sounds. But this time, I remembered this sutra.

I got very still and focused upon the light between my legs. I could feel it flowing like a raging river. I sensed the bones of my pelvis as a gateway. I focused upon stillness and watching the energies flow through that gateway. I felt like a surfer must feel, balancing upon the wildness, staying focused in the moment. It was a wild ride within the stillness, which was within the wildness. (Inside and out were somewhat blended.)

Then a beautiful thing happened. I sensed my pelvic bones dissolving into the light. It was gradual, starting at the edges the way that water will wear away rock. I stayed still and calm as the river of light roared and my pelvis dissolved, until there was nothing left but light and flow. It felt delicious and expansive and awe-inspiring, like a reminder of what’s all around us and through us. Some call it God or many other names. I like Source, because I believe it’s where we come from when we incarnate and where we return when we die. But there are really no adequate words.

I’m in a delightful exploration of sacred sexuality, and I have been for many years. It is getting more and more spiritually expansive. I regularly have experiences like this, which are so profound and impactful that I am inspired to share what I’m learning. That’s why I’m starting Bliss: Dissolve into Universal Oneness. It’s an advanced spiritually-focused group for both couples and singles, using sacred sexuality as a pathway to spiritual expansion. I’m teaching from my own experience, drawing upon moments like I just described here. The group begins January 10, 2025.

If this calls to you, then I invite you to check out Bliss: Dissolve Into Universal Oneness. Click the link to find out more.

Divine Grace and Synchronicity

I want to share an experience I had recently with Divine Grace.

It started when I was at the breakfast table. I was sipping tea, and I remembered a meditation from the Radiance Sutras (a modern-day translation of the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra by Lorin Roche.) It was to imagine going into the space inside my head and then to imagine that space expanding infinitely in all directions. It’s quite powerful!

So I did that, and I rapidly went into the light. I was there for a few moments, and then I became aware of the teacup in my hand halfway to my mouth, and my elbow on the table. But I was still aware of the light, and I could hold both realms (the light and the material world) at the same time. It was a moment of revelation and of grace.

I lingered at the table for a while, savoring the glimpse I had received. Then I remembered that I had a mission that morning. I have a necklace, which I use as a pendulum, that I’ve worn next to my heart for 15-20 years. I had left it down at the lake the day before and I wanted to go retrieve it before my Zoom appointments for the day. I scolded myself a little for lallygagging and got going.

When I got to the lake I couldn’t find the pendulum. Bummer! I was disappointed to lose this necklace as I had a big connection with it. I kept searching around the place where I had left it, but no luck. I knew I should give up but I still kept looking.

Then a man came walking over the hill. We struck up a conversation and I told him that I was looking for my necklace. I looked down to search one last time, and the next thing I knew, he was holding out his hand with my pendulum in it. He had found it earlier and picked it up!

There was so much synchronicity in this encounter! If I hadn’t left late, if I hadn’t stayed longer than was reasonable while searching, I wouldn’t have met him. John had offered to go to the lake for me, and if he had, he may not have talked to this man at all, as he is more reserved with strangers than I am. Everything had to line up just right for this to happen!

I think that the experience of being in the light and the material world led me into a relaxed surrender into the flow of the universe. The universe is loving and friendly, and wants to support us. We just have to allow it to happen!

A Beach Wedding

Photo credit: Kevin Coughran, CapturedCupid.com

I had the great honor and privilege to officiate at a client’s wedding this spring. It was a beautiful day on the coast, and they wanted a wedding that was intimate, casual and spiritual. Right up my alley! That’s just who I am.

We did the ceremony on the beach, and she told me a few days later that it felt like I had built a container for their relationship that she could still feel. I blessed each of their chakras, setting an intention for their relationship with the energy of that chakra. It was simple yet powerful.

They asked me to wear white, otherwise I would have chosen a different color so that the bride got all the attention!

This was such a fun day that I have decided to make it a regular offering to others! For more info and more photos, click here.

Celebrate!

Celebrate your growth!

Something that I have found that is really helpful with my clients is celebration. It’s so easy to get so focused upon your end goal when you’re in a process of transformation. While it’s good to have a vision, it can start to feel daunting to imagine that you’ll ever get there.

I like to interrupt that relentless focus upon how much more there is to do with a celebration of breakthroughs. When something shifts, pay attention to that and celebrate it. It will keep you motivated and give you hope that you can indeed manifest your vision. And when you pay attention to successes, then you attract more successes!

Jupiter Meets Uranus

A Whole Lotta Shakin’ Going On!

You may have heard that we are nearing a powerful astrological event. On April 20, Jupiter will conjunct Uranus. Jupiter is the biggest planet in the solar system and it amplifies energies of other planets when it contacts them. Uranus is the energy of a lightening bolt — electric, sudden and sometimes shocking. Combine those two energies, and you get a lot of power!

We’ve been heading towards this conjunction for a while. The energies are building already. I’ve seen several people who I work with have kundalini awakenings or surges, some of them completely transformative to the person who is experiencing it.

I’ve had my own experience with Uranus since 2022. It’s been conjunct my natal moon. That’s when I developed Parkinson’s Disease. The tremor associated with Parkinson’s is very similar to the shaking that can happen with a kundalini awakening. I often have had both going on at once — the baseline of the Parkinson’s tremor amplified by kundalini activated.

The key that I have found is surrender. Easy to say, not as easy to do, I know. But when you can truly surrender, and just allow the shaking to be there, it eventually smoothes itself out. It can be really intense at first, but if you can allow it to do what it wants, it will eventually settle down. Then it leaves you in a delightful calm.

I had a thought the other night. Maybe I had this Uranus transit slightly before the conjunction that is coming up now is so I could have the experience of kundalini shaking mastered by now so I can help others through it. (Uranus is still close to my natal moon, so I’m still in it but not for much longer.) There’s nothing like personal experience to help you really understand a situation.

If you are experiencing a kundalini awakening event, you might be having involuntary shaking, sleeplessness, and lots of energy flowing through your body. If you need support, I’m here. We can start with a free 30-minute phone call, and see what you need from there. Click the link to book your call.

You can learn to make the best of an event that even though is challenging, will ultimately lead you to a place that is worlds beyond where you were before!

A Guide to Men Who Want to Truly Make Love to a Women

(Things you might not know)

The fact that you are reading this speaks volumes. I appreciate your desire to make love to a woman with more adeptness. You are a treasure indeed!

There’s a very important point to remember when considering how to approach a woman. It’s something that you might not have considered before.

I would venture to say that it’s nearly impossible to find a woman who has never been hurt sexually. There are obvious cases of sexual abuse, but even women who have never been “abused” have probably had the experience of being entered too soon.

Especially when we are young, the frenzy of male testosterone can dominate the experience. Testosterone creates an imperative of “do it, do it, do it!” Unfortunately, that kind of urgency is not as conducive to a full sexual response in a woman.

Women tend to open up (both physically and energetically) slower than men. And if she is not fully open, it can hurt to be entered. That pain gets stored in the body as a memory. And the body remembers that pain and guards against it. The muscles stay tight and the yoni opening doesn’t fully happen. Which leads to more pain.

Because we have been in a patriarchal culture for thousands of years, this memory of pain is in our DNA. Sexual interactions have been focused upon male pleasure, and a woman speaking up about what she wants was discouraged.

Here’s the important message: Even if she knows she can trust you, the body memories from past lovers who rushed the process, plus the heritage from the DNA, are still there. It’s at an instinctual level. So it’s really not about you if your partner needs to feel safe.

Another important message: If you can be patient and do what it takes to encourage a woman to relax and open completely, the energy that will come back to you is far beyond what you can take for yourself by rushing the experience to get to “the good stuff.” You will be bathed in feminine energy beyond your wildest dreams!

I hope this helps you understand a little more about women. Thank you for caring enough to read this.

If you need some assistance with learning what you can do to work with this dynamic, let me offer you a free Sexual Communion Gateway Session. This is a 30-60 minute phone call where we can explore your challenges, create a vision of what you want instead, and I’ll give you my best recommendations for getting started. There’s no pressure, just a sincere desire to be in service. Click the link to book your session.

Astrology Helps the Healing

Astrology is a marvelous tool in my work. When I’m working with someone who is going deep into themselves, I always cast a chart of their birth, as well as other charts to see what the current influences they are having. This lets me understand their soul’s intention for this lifetime, and I can better guide them in their growth and evolution.

I did this recently for a new client, and the information was profoundly impactful for her. She has had a very troubled life, lots of grief and hardship. I was able to tell her what planetary influences have set those challenges up, and what her soul was intending. I was able to tell her dates when things would have been more challenging, and she was surprised to see how accurate it was. I was also able to tell her that it will be easing up soon, and she’ll get a breather from all the challenges. She wept with tears of relief at receiving this information. It gave her a perspective of having agency instead of being a victim to random circumstances.

Understanding more about the soul’s process of growth and evolution and how we come in with intentions for certain experiences can be found in the birth chart. Sometimes what seems like a hardship has a purpose for our growth.

This reading was especially useful, because I was able to read the path to her healing in her chart. The lineup of planets showed that working with kundalini energy, learning to manage negative thinking, and deepening her spiritual connection would especially be helpful. (All areas I’m very strong in.) And as a “by the way”, my own astrology aligns with hers very precisely in those areas that are about healing. It even shows some past-life connections with her.

This is one of my favorite ways to work with people — to get to know them on a soul level, find out their challenges and intentions for this lifetime, and to guide and mentor them on their path. It is such an honor to be in such service in this way.

If you’re wondering if I can be of service to you, I invite you to explore further. Click here for a free Discovery Session.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Here’s wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day! I must confess, it’s not my favorite holiday. There is too much weight of expectations loaded onto one day. It’s a day when you “should” be happy, you “should” have sex, you “should” receive gifts from a beloved. It’s a miracle that anyone actually does that, what with all the expectations. Expectations are not an aphrodisiac!

I remember years ago being very miserable on Valentine’s Day, even though I was in a good relationship, thinking that there was something wrong if my partner and I didn’t make love. Thinking that it meant we were deficient in some fundamental way, that our relationship was doomed. Eventually I came to see that the burden of expectations was in the way, and I lightened up with my rigid ideas of what Valentine’s Day should be. I’ve been much happier since!

But there is one way that Valentine’s Day can be useful. It can serve as a reminder to you, if you are really not happy with the state of your love life. If you have ongoing problems connecting with your beloved, or if you wish you could love yourself more, or you feel shut off from your sexual energy, Valentine’s Day can illuminate your dissatisfaction and help you get motivated to take action.

I’m here for you if you want to take action. You can start with a complimentary Sexual Communion Gateway Session. I will help you get clear about your challenges, create a vision of what you want instead, and give you some recommendations to get started on your path. Just click the link to find out more. I’d love to be of service to you.

Connection Ceremony

This pic is one my partner John took of me as we began our regular weekly connection ceremony. These are times we set aside to commune with each other and the divine. It’s the highlight of my week! And what keeps us glued together. Deep intimacy and fun certainly make a relationship flow more easily!

I wrote a guide for how you can do your own connection ceremony. I’m offering it as a gift to you. It’s called Create Connection: A Guide to Foster Intimacy. You can find a link to it here.

It’s also got some ways that you can adapt it for a solo practice with yourself. That really fosters self-love!

I hope you enjoy it!

How to Talk to a Partner About Doing Work Together

In the work that I do, helping people experience a more blissful relationship, I often find that one partner is more interested than the other in doing work with me.

I recently had a conversation with a woman who wanted to work with me along with her husband, but she thought he would be resistant to doing it. She said that maybe she would tell him that it was this or a divorce. While that might get his attention, I’m not sure that it would create an authentic motivation on his part. And it’s likely that a harsh approach will create resistance rather than an opening for transformation.

This poem might give some inspiration for another way of handling it.

The Prettiest Mule

Sometimes a mule does not know
What is best for itself.

When the mind is confused like that
It secretly desires a master
With a skilled whip

To guide it to those playgrounds
On the earth’s table
Where the Sweet One’s light has
Made life more tasty.

Hafiz always carries such a whip
But I rarely need to use it.

I prefer just turning myself into
The prettiest mule
In town

And making my tail sing
Knowing your heart will then
Follow.

Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky

Like my Southern Granny used to say: “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”

So here are some guidelines for how to talk to a partner who is reluctant to do work on your sexual relationship:

Don’t make them wrong. This can create lasting damage to their sense of being a good lover. When someone is insecure, they will be tentative in their approach to you and probably more in their head than in their body. Not a good way to be when you’re making love.
Tell them what you are longing for, in positive terms. Tell them why you are longing for it. For example, “I remember how we used to be so passionate, and I really would love to share that beautiful energy with you again. It gives me so much life and energy for the rest of my life, and everything flows so easily when I’m filled up like that.”
Mention what they will get from doing it. For example, “I think that you would enjoy a more passionate relationship too. When we are having good lovemaking, we have such a joyful connection. Everything flows more smoothly. I don’t get so irritable over the dishes in the sink when we’ve just made love.”
Many people think that the ability to be a good lover should just come naturally, and that they are a failure if they need to seek help. Reassure them that it’s not a failure. There is a cultural assumption that a good lover should know without being told what their partner likes. But hardly anyone is ever taught how to do it!
Reassure them that your chosen practitioner (that would be me, I hope!) will hold a space of no judgment. I am so comfortable with talking about sexuality that the ease I feel spills over to you and pretty soon you’re talking in ways you never dreamed you could, with more comfort than you could imagine. It’s very liberating!

If I can be of service to you in helping you to create a sexual renaissance in your relationship, or for yourself (because it all starts there anyway), I’d like to offer you a next step: a free Sexual Communion Gateway Session. In this 30-60 minute phone call, I will help you get clear where you are in this area, what your challenges are, and give you my best recommendations on how to deal with these challenges. And if it seems like I could help you further, I might recommend that we do further work together. But there are no strings attached, just a whole-hearted desire to be of service to you.

To schedule this session, click here.

I’d love to help you find your sexual communion!