What’s the Truth?

I was taking a walk in silence with my partner John the other day, and I noticed how my mind was really busy. I was being very judgmental with myself, criticizing myself for not doing things right, for not being perfect. Reminding myself of all the ways I am a failure.

I mentioned this to him, and he said, “Oh, I can relate! I do that too.” I think we all can. We are often our own harshest critics.

I grabbed his elbow and pulled him around to face me. “Let’s tell each other the truth about each other.”

I began. “You are kind and loving. You are wise and growing wiser. You are handsome and fun to be with. You are a wonderful lover.”

Then he told me, “You are beautiful. You radiate love to everyone you meet. You are deliciously sexy. You are enough.”

At that, I began weeping. It touched a core issue in me — never being enough. I have worked with it extensively over the years, but it is still there. The tears (and not very many) cleansed it once again.

This is part of how we can help each other heal, offering reflections that counter our beloved’s negative self-talk. It opens the mind to considering a different possibility.

And I believe that the truth about you, about anyone, is that you are worthy of love!

Published by Satya Lila

I help couples who are getting a little older discover a sexual renaissance and find ways of relating sexually that lead to even better levels of bliss.

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