I want to celebrate a client I have been working with for a little over a year now. (She has given me permission to tell her story, with the intention of inspiring others to know what’s possible.)
She came to me after many years of working with therapists, and a few years of workshops, yoga and breathwork. She had suffered a trauma when only a week old, when she had been left alone for twenty-four hours while her mother was rushed to the hospital and almost died. This impacted her greatly, and she had been working diligently for most of her life to heal herself. I believe it was her core wound.
She told me that the therapists that she encountered were harsh and judgmental. They diagnosed her with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and basically just told her she would have her life impacted forever.
When I first met her, she was chronically not able to sleep. She was afraid of the dark, and her fear interfered with her being able to relax enough to sleep. She was very worn down physically, with very low energy.
She had experienced a kundalini awakening from her breathwork classes which left her physically shaking much of the time. She was desperately trying to keep the energy contained, which left her even more drained.
Also, when I took a look at her astrology chart, I saw that she had been in Pluto transits for the last 20 years! She was just coming to the end of that Pluto influence — an intense time of old structures dropping away that clears the way for transformation, especially with the Shadow. I, also, had been having Pluto transits for about that long, so I was really familiar with that energy.
On the positive side, the breathwork classes had also awakened her spiritually, and she was seeing visions of beautiful blue light when she did the breathwork.
The first thing we addressed was helping her to feel safe enough to sleep. I introduced her to Divine Mother, and we worked intensively for a while with developing her relationship to Divine Mother. Because of the time difference between where she lives and where I am, we were able to do sessions right before her bedtime.
Slowly she began to feel safer. Gradually, she began to unwind enough to sleep.
Next we began to address how to work with the kundalini energy — how to respect it, to be thankful for its gifts and how to express it so it was not such an energetic drain.
We also have done a tremendous amount of work with her shadow side (appropriate for Pluto). Working with the sub-selves – the critical and judgmental internal voices telling her that she was not good enough, not lovable, doing it wrong. She has learned a lesson that I repeated often — the answer is always love. She has become adept at loving those voices when they arise. And they are dissolving!
This photo is not of her. We have never been in person together, only on Zoom. I chose it because it is a great representation of the energy we share. I have a great deal of mother energy (5 planets in Cancer), and I love loving people, seeing their beauty, and reflecting it back to them. I can hold a positive image of people until they can hold it for themselves. Now, she is learning to hold it for herself, with occasional reminders from me that she has learned to breathe in deeply and receive with her whole body. Before, when I gave her a positive reflection, she would hunch her shoulders and try to disappear, not able to take it in.
I celebrate her dedication to her growth and healing, and all the diligent application of consciousness required for her to get to this place. She did the work and she is reaping the rewards!
Nowadays, she is more consistently happy than I’ve ever seen her. Often she is bubbling with joy, excited about her life. She is unfolding from a solitary lifestyle, where she rarely socialized and had few friends, into connecting with people who are full of life and fun, because she is full of life and fun herself!
I’m sharing this with you in case you need some inspiration for yourself. If this is possible for her, you can do it too! If you would like to find a life that is full of self-love, joy, and connection, I can help you. I am opening my schedule for one new client now. If this is something that speaks to you, let me invite you to explore whether we would be a good fit with a complimentary Discovery Session. In this phone session, we can explore your challenges, create a vision of what you want instead, and I’ll give you my best recommendations on how to get started. Click the link to schedule.
I would be honored to assist with the sacred work of your growth and healing!
Satya Lila 