I had a really hard week last week. I was dealing with a lot of fatigue (a by-product of Parkinson’s Disease), and I had no energy. I had lots of stuff I wanted to do, but I kept having to cancel things that I was really looking forward to. It got really depressing, and I was having a hard time holding positive thoughts. I had a really busy day scheduled yesterday, and I didn’t think I had enough energy to get through it.
You know what turned it around? Peanut butter — and love.
I was making breakfast, spreading peanut butter on toast. My regular breakfast, which I absolutely love. Somehow I interrupted the flow of self-pity and thought “I really like peanut butter. It keeps me going every day!”
I started lightening a little. I told John how much I like peanut butter, and he smiled. He knew how depressed I was, having just been holding me as the tears came down.
Then I sprinkled cacao nibs on the peanut butter. “And the cacao nibs give me entertainment for my senses.” I spoke this aloud too.
A little more pleasure came through.
Then I arranged pear slices on top. “And the pear slices give me sweetness,” I smiled at him.
I sat down with my breakfast across from John and regarded my breakfast creation. The foundation of it all was a thick slice of John’s home baked cinnamon raisin bread. He keeps us supplied with fresh homemade gluten-free, vegan delicious bread. Reason # 7332 why I love him.
I looked into his eyes, and said, “And eating your bread is like eating love.”
I felt a shift as I did this. More lightness of being, less dread of feeling awful.
And I went through my day feeling good! I had energy for it all, and I enjoyed the interactions with people that I had. I got a good night’s sleep last night, and woke today feeling my usual cheerful self.
Shifting my perspective was the key. Gratitude, even about the most simple things, is such a powerful force. It doesn’t matter WHAT you’re grateful about, just that you feel the energy of gratitude, or appreciation.
What are you grateful for?
Satya Lila 